twitchedlove.

52nd.

2010-07-15T22:47:00.005+08:00

it wasn't as good as i've expected it to be.

so, i went to watch eclipse with baby ystd after school. we headed to vivo straight taking the train. yes, the train. its been a long time since we took the train together :) upon reaching vivo, we bought the movie tickets. baby's treat. hehe. then, we went to have lunch at ljs. we have a heart to heart to talk. i'm relieved that you've changed for the better baby ♥ then, we went to watch the movie. it wasn't as good as i've expected it. loads of talking. but at least, not much facts was change from the book. i still get the idea though. haha. then, we went to search for baby's school bag. since he wasn't satisfied with the design there, we decided to head down to marina square. finally, he settled down with a ripcurl bag that cost him nearly a 100 bucks. woo. but it was really nice. worth the price yeah. then, we headed back home. i enjoyed myself :)

school was pretty much a bore today. i've been falling sick these days. having chest pains, migranes, nose blocks, sore throat, all at once. so, i skipped auto-cad today. went to adam road to have lunch with baby. then, we hanged out and baby's crib for a few hours before he send me home to fetch his sis from work. i just spent my time resting. after maghrib, i drove to the doctor with bro accompanying me by the side. it cost me 50 bucks. omfg. i've been given 2 days mc. today and tmr. baby insist me of gg for tmr's math lecture. so, i'm skipping tmr's math tutorial. i'll apply for my loa to cover up today's autocad lesson and math tutorial tmr.

i've expressed something out to baby today. something that really bothers me. idk what's wrong. and idk whether am i making a mistake by talking to them. i don't find it a mistake to talk to them though i don't really like their attitude. i can feel the cold shoulder that you've been showing me these days. i've never felt so alone just now. i'll leave it to God. i just don't want to pick up a fight when this is the last few weeks we will be together as one.

tmr, is my 52nd monthsery with baby. which means, we've been together for 4 years 4 months! what a great achievement baby. the journey with you has never been easy. we've went through a lot of ups and downs, shits, 3rd parties and many more. you know how hard it was for us to be right here, right now. a lot of tears was shed from our eyes. our hearts felt the emotions we went through. our eyes witnessed the tears we shed. our ears heard what we've thrown to each other. out tongues speaks out words that was never meant to. but i'm very glad that we've managed to pull through this monthsery without a big fight. for the first time ever! omg! keep it up baby ♥ every second with you is the most precious moment of my life. so,

HAPPY 52ND MONTHSERY BABY ♥♥
i love you ♥

impromptu.

2010-06-25T19:21:00.005+08:00

random and buruk-ness :)

hahaha! very the ugly photo. ystd, baby and i plus some friends went for an impromptu cycling outing. intially, i planned to go ECP with baby for cycling but baby invited some friends with us. it was nice meeting them. so, i went to baby's house and from there, he drove to ecp and meet the rest there. rent bikes for 3 hours and cycle. the plan was to changi park and back to ecp again but due to time constrain, we didn't manage to complete our little mission. we were so close to the destination yet so far still to cycle. and me, being a lazy pig, cycle very slowly. hahaha.

after the cycle, we headed of to changi village to have our dinner. i swear, baby need a GPS beside him whenever he drive. he seriously don't know anything abt the roads in singapore -.- hahaha. so, one of our friends lead us to changi village and after dinner, the guys had a crazy thought of going OCH -.- at 9 plus? on a thursday night? they seriously were finding some trouble. so, baby drove somewhere near OCH and he speed off after seeing the place being dark. hahaha. ajak tapi tkt sendiri. crazy. after that, baby sent our friends back home and lastly me. hehehe. its easy having a driver around me :) i love the time spent with friends ystd. after a long time right? we'll meet again one day, insya'Allah :)

so, today was boring as any other day. didn't manage to meet baby as he got some family plans and a cousin outing at night. maybe tmr? insya'Allah. my legs and ass is aching big time because of the cycle ystd. its been a long time since i cycle and ystd was the first time i went cycling with baby. we should do it again some time :) i like! hehe. ohh! tonight will be portugal vs brazil! go brazillians! well, shocking to find that i watched soccer. hahaha. because almost everyone in my house is a soccer freak. including my sister -.- well, may the best team wins tonight match :) goodnight.

2010-06-21T20:39:00.002+08:00

roxy is back.

this are the few things that i bought at malacca. i've bought a new school bag. roxy. back in singapore. hehehe. roxy slippers since my reef slippers looks big with my feet -.- and CROCS SHOES! omg! hahahah. it cost me 209 ringgit. so abt 100 plus in sg dollars. finally! hahah. and i've bought a checkered shirt and tights. gorgeous. plus some renoma undies. hehe.

so, i've just reached singapore this afternoon. tiring journey. i drove the car for a few hundred kilometres. and the shocking thing was, raudhah happened to stay in the hotel opposite to the hotel that i stayed for a night. and the worst part is, we didn't even meet each other :( we stopped at the same R&R, Pagoh, yet we didn't meet! omg. so close yet so far. sigh. well, i hope i'll get the chance to meet her when school reopens.

so, most probably i'll be joining baby's class for CIP tomorrow. i hope it'll bring more fun when i'm around though all of his classmates are guys -.- i'm looking forward to meet baby. i miss him so much! nobody knows how i feel right now. i just wish i could meet him at this very moment. things have been rough between the both of us. as much as i try to deny it, we are slowly drifting apart. idk what will happen. but, insya'Allah we will work things out. i will try my very best. we've not been spending enough time for each other. but i hope we can slowly build up the time for this relationship again. ily.

solitude.

2010-06-19T22:13:00.005+08:00

apparently, i'm not in YOUR mind.

well, i don't wanna say much. i'm at port dickson now. today will be the last day that i'm here. will be heading out to malacca tmr morning after the breakfast. for now, i've not bought anything for myself. but, maybe i will at malacca or smth. nothing pleased me here. my mind is so full of things. idk which is which. so, i've changed my blog skin. its set to only a post for the entry part. idk how to change it. but i'll leave it that way.

we are drifting apart. real apart. think abt it. i will say no more.
goodnight everyone.

ya, whatever.

2010-06-14T23:31:00.002+08:00

SO SOMEBODY, FORGET ABT ME TOTALLY! WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? WHATEVER. I'M TIRED OF WAITING. EXACTLY LIKE I THOUGHT. YOU WILL FORGET ME! NO DOUBT ABT THAT. HAVING SO MUCH FUN RIGHT? WAIT TILL YOU SEE. MY TURN WILL COME SOON. FEEL HOW I FELT NOW. AND IF THE FEELING YOU HAVE FOR ME IS REAL, YOU'LL FEEL THE PAIN. DON'T GIVE ME SUCH STUPID EXCUSES LIKE BATT FLAT, DRIVING, OR WHATEVER SHIT. YOU CANT BE DRIVING THE WHOLE DAY AND TYPING OUT A SINGLE MSG WONT TAKE TOO MUCH OF YOUR ENERGY RIGHT? HAH. BATT FLAT, NOT MY PROBLEM. EVERYBODY CAN SAY THAT LIE WHEN THEY WANT TO COVER UP FOR THEMSELVES. JUST WAIT AND WATCH. I'M MAD, FRUSTRATED, DISSAPOINTED MOST OF ALL THAT YOU CAN JUST, AND ALWAYS FORGETS ABT ME WHEN YOU'RE WITH YOUR FAMILY. 'FAMILY ALWAYS COMES FIRST'. TRUE, BUT JUST A SINGLE MSG TO ASK 'HOW WAS YOUR DAY?' WONT WASTE TOO MUCH TIME OR ENERGY EITHER. WHATEVER. YOU DONT HAVE TO MSG ME OR WHATEVER. JUST STICK THIS WAY. THERE'S NO NEED TO MEET ON THE 16TH EITHER. JUST FORGET ABT IT LIKE YOU FORGET ME NOW :DDD

ok, bye ppl.

4 days.

2010-06-06T17:11:00.003+08:00

OMG! EXAMS?!

well, MST starts tmr. but, my paper starts on tuesday. there'll be a lot of things happening this week. i'm scared and nervous. traffic police test in 4 days time. i'm really shaking. sigh. on top of that, i have a paper which starts ant 1.30 till 3pm. the worst part is, i have to be at bbdc by 3.15 pm. here comes trouble. but sis agreed to fetch me and baby from sch after our exams and drive us to bbdc. faster and i don't have to spend a single dime on taxi. alhamdulillah. you know what i'm waiting for after all this?

you got that right. holidays! i want to drive the whole singapore after getting my license. i seriously do. i just can't wait for MST to be over. like seriously, everyone can't wait for the moment. i've got a lot of plans during holidays. go to zoo, find a job, girls day out (maybe), date with bby for 51st monthsery (no longer taking the train now, insya'Allah when we got that license) and bla bla bla. i really can't wait for holidays.

a year older.

2010-05-28T22:33:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY PUTERI NUR IFFAH!! stay healthy and happy always. be a good girl and daughter to mama and all of us here. you are a part of us no matter you. without you, our lives will not be as it is now. we love you unconditionally. you'll always be our sunshine. i hope you love the crocs that i bought for you. shared between me, kak ala, abg khair and abg loqman. hoped you like it. p/s: my abg choose the colour for you :P hahaha. happy birthday once again. ily bby.

i'm down with flu and sore throat. thanks to iffah. grr. she spread it to me. so, we didnt have dinner outside cuz sis was tired when she came back from work at 5. so, we postphoned it to tmr. celebrate her birthday as we go. her birthday is on the 30th. near much. hahah. alright. i need to sleep now. i'll give a proper update soon. goodnight.

hold you till the morning light.

2010-05-23T20:00:00.004+08:00

you're the first and last thing on mind.

balloons. i know of someone who is scared of balloons. *evil laugh* haha. very cute. today was indeed a BORINGG day. i went for driving simulator practice this morning. kind of fun but i'm not used with the auto gear tho. not using the left leg to drive is odd. that reminds me, i have an auto car practical tmr at 4. ystd, i went for basic theory lesson 1.01 and 1.02. boring. i slept during the 5 mins break that they gave. how can i not be sleepy? on friday night, i went for practical lesson that ended at 11. lucky thing, i got the send service and i drove myself home. slept and go for btl lessons which starts at 8 on saturday morning till 11.40 -.- omg.

i've booked mt final theory lessons next saturday, morning -.- ohh dear. i need to gear up to finish up my remaining practical before 5th june. and then, i need to be ready for my traffic police test O.O woo. scared much. so, guess what i did today? dad bring me out to drive, illegally of course. guess what? i drove on the expressway for the first time in my life O.O! seriously, i was freaking scared that i kept on saying my prayers while driving. wow, dad, don't scare me like that again. i wasn't expecting him to asked me to drive on the expressway. omg. scared shit. and i practiced my parking skills at an open carpark near my house. my left leg hurt so much -.- thanks to the clutch.

so, i've got a lab test tmr. i'm not in the mood to study today. i'll just rmbr the formula and i'm all ready for the practical. this week will be a hectic week for me. idk whether i will have the time t go for practical lessons or not. ohh my. i need to manage my time well. MST (mid-semester test) is approaching. heck, i'm not at the slightest bit ready for it. really very scared. sigh.i need to start revising soon. math, mechanics, AUTOCADD!! disaster subject. i'm still not being able to do it myself. sigh. omg! my stomach, ache. gtg. see u. byeee.

its the 16th again.

2010-05-16T21:25:00.004+08:00

its the love we have.

16th May. HAPPY 4 YEARS AND 2 MONTHSERY BBY! well, in order words, HAPPY 50TH MONTHSERY! yeahs, 50th! i don't realise it also. not until i sat on the toilet bowl and count the number of months we've been together. haha. whatever it is, i'm glad we've reached this far. its the love we have that bring us to this very day. although we've went through a lot of quarrelings in between all this, i'm glad we stay strong. we'll reach the top together, *singing line* like a pyramid. hahah.i love you.

so, i spent ystd with baby. went to bkoc to return back the uniforms. well, i think they are glad to have us resigned. they don't have the slightest intention to ask us to reconsider our decision. well, whatever. its the past. i love the time, working there but, due to some reasons and disliking with the members and managers, i had to make this decision just to not create more problems at work. so, after returning the uniforms, we went to ion. uniqlo? baby bought a few shirts there. after that, we went to giordano. baby bought a khaki pants. haha. then, baby went to the mosque to pray while i wait. red carpet. haha. after that we headed of to vivo to have our late dinner. before that, we both bought reef slippers. a pair each. very satisfied with mine since baby choose it for me. haha. then we had LJS at the rooftop. soon, we headed home.

today? i spent my day at home. bored of course. well, there's school tmr. and i have a make up auto-cad lesson. sigh. well, i wanna wear my new slippers tmr. can't wait. okay, goodnight.

s t r e s s e d .

2010-05-13T21:41:00.003+08:00

school.

what a week. sorry for the lack of updates. well, who the heck read my blog anyway? nobody. i was down with fever on friday night. it got worst on saturday. baby was there all the way with me, supporting me each time when i cry of the pain. i had sore throat, flu, fever and cough at once. i dont want to be reminded of the pain. it was so so painful. i was so weak all the time. i can't even feel my legs on the ground when i'm walking. ohh my god. yet, baby was there tolerating my mia-ness, dozzing off suddenly while replying his msg. and he will ask "are u there?" repeatedly. i'm sorry. but thank you :) ily.

this week has been stressing enough. idk how am i going to go through more of this. i can't take it anymore. i wonder why ppl say poly life is very slacking when it isn't? there's a lot of things that needs to be done. test are coming in. and i'm not even ready for anything. wth happened to my basic math? i can't even do it now. mechanics? i'm lost. totally. autocad, dont get me started on this. on top of that, problems everywhere. i can't take all this stress. i've got no one to turn to. i've quarreled with baby a few times in school for this week and it hurts me a lot. i just don't feel the love in him anymore. he often gets mad over smth not related to me and he just shoot it at me. and when he gets mad, he didn't realise what he was saying. and maybe what he said this afternoon was right. its the fact that i can't help him. i'm stupid. i can't even help myself. i'm stuck, lost, stressed.

goodnight everyone.

ohh crap.

2010-05-03T20:26:00.005+08:00

well, its true. i can't denied it.

i can't run away from all this anymore. i have to accept the fact. i asked for it, so i stick with it. all your words all this while, i'll keep it all close to my heart. cuz those are what you think of me. well, dont worry. i'll stick with my words. just dont come back. and i won't too. i'll stay away from you. don't worry abt those things. i'll give it back to you since you didn't really give it to me, with ikhlas. i'll give everything back to you tmr. so don't worry. i don't want to elaborate so much here. let time tell.

disappointment.

2010-04-25T21:52:00.004+08:00

don't waste it.

well, like i guessed, i got disappointed again by someone whom i wished hasn't. idk whether it means smth for (insertname) to fulfill my wants. why must you disappoint me like this? has it not been enough for you to test me till this far? if they are who you need, go to them and just chuck me one side. they are much better compared to me. i'm just a plain boring person.

well, i got a lot of things to say, but i'm just not in the mood to put it in details. i just can't believe that i got through a week of school as a tertiary student. the ways of teaching and studying is so much different. in poly, i need to learn how to be independent. i can't rely on lecturers to spare their time to give extra lessons. once a lecture missed, i'm doomed. i need to be more focus during lecture class and do all the practices assigned during tutorials. idk how i'm going to go through this 3 years of engineering. i need my GPA to be above 3.5, at least. my classmates are so much better than me. express stream dudes and babes. their c.o.p is not much different than mine. but i'm still in between potential GPA 4 pointers students. i need to concentrate during lectures starting tmr. i dont want to waste my years in poly when i already wasted years at secondary sch.

my laptop is heating up. i wonder why. i need to hit the sack now. lesson starts at 8. the only difference in poly is : there's no assembly and flag raising to start the day :) i dont think sp has the national flag placed in the building. perhaps during national day? hmms. ohh well. i gotta get going. good night. have a good day tmr. bye.

& because once i love, i will always love. xoxo.

kerna skali cinta, aku tetap cinta.

cravings.

2010-04-24T22:22:00.004+08:00

waffle dream.

i've been craving for this since last week and i didnt get a chance to visit swensens and have a taste of this ice cream. and i've been craving for kfc snackers s1 so much. although sp has a kfc outlet, i didnt get to eat it due to some reason. what a week.

so, the first week of school was, okay? ya, maybe. i have to sit for a lot of modules this semester. mechanics 1, well this subject sucks. its like putting physics and math together as a one subject. basic math, is not really basic. and i had to take the triple E (electrical and electronic engineering) combine with mechanical engineering. well, back to d&t. design, bla bla bla. playing ard with the soldering machine. well, here's the thing. i had to buy a soldering tool set which is worth 100 plus just for one pathetic semester. sucks man. i dont even know whether i'll be taking a triple E sub next semester when i get to choose between the 8 dip the sch offers. hmms.

alright, i'm off to bed now. i'm kind of disappointed right now. so, bye.

what a day huh.

2010-04-22T23:08:00.003+08:00

there's nothing for me to update actually. just a change of a new blogskin. what a day huh? pissed. frustrated. angry. mad. all at once. i dont wish to elaborate any of the deatils because it won't do me any good either. alright, i'm off. will update when i'm free again.

s i c k k k k k

2010-04-15T21:55:00.004+08:00

sometimes...

what can i say abt flag day just now? tiring? slacking? haha. i slacked most of the time. i collected only $7.50. yes, only that amount. ohh please. i'm not the one that collected the least in my class. hahah. i don't really wish to update abt flag day because i'm actually very very sick right now. been having flu, sore throat and cough for three days alr. a nice start for school right? hmms. so, next week will be the official start for school. i literally go W-T-H when i saw my time table throughout the entire week. idk how am i going to handle the stress abt the triple E topics. definitely not my type -.- looking forward to math tho :) alright. just a short update for now. bye.

-------

cbox up again :)

as long as i can

2010-04-14T19:31:00.001+08:00

for as long as i can take it, i will take all your words. but if i really can't take it anymore, you'll be the first to know. idk what to do anymore to make you change your mindset. dont make me give up. for now, leave me alone. i'm turning in early. goodnight.

outinggg!

2010-04-05T10:33:00.004+08:00

we lay eggsss! :P

hahahaha! what's with the eggs? O.o! i'll be going out with the two pretty ladies up there tmr! ohh, i miss them a lot! been trying to get some free time to squeeze just to meet them. finally, tmr is the day! diyana, fiza and farhan will be tagging along. not forgetting, naufy! the prettiest 'girl' in our group! HAHAHAHA! i miss diyana and fiza too! :D i can't wait for tmr :D

i've yet to configure my laptop. grr. will be going to sp this 9th april together with dino and naufy. hehe! the sp-ians -.- okay. so how am i going to spend my time today? hanging ard at baby's crib. he's going to try to help me with the spoiled mouse acer gave me. grr. and install adobe cs4 to my lappy. he's my IT GURU! hahaha! after that, going for an interview somewhere near his house. then go home. hehehe. ohh! i went for a morning cycle this morning. damn it, tiring! suddenly felt so weak when i reach home. guess its my fault for skipping breakfast. hahaha. okay. i want to have my late breakfast now. which is rice with some veggie and fishball. yum yum! byeee.

taken to the heart.

2010-04-03T20:02:00.003+08:00

look at everything. especially 6, 8 and 13.

but i guess you wont even give a shit abt it right? so, whatever. you win, ok? you win to make me mad like i've never before. but at least, i have the patience to handle it. patience to tolerate you 'revenge-is-a-must' attitude.what did u get in return? u get hurt yourself. i've tolerated enough. and pls laa. my brain is fully matured enough and i'm not thinking things that is so so childish. think abt it. i've tolerated enough. i'll just shut up. and yes, i admit. i dream big. dream smth that is too big and too early to decide anything. but at least, i dreamt of it. dreamt of forever. and not you. at least, i dreamt of being loyal to you and not give a pathetic 'idk' answer when i asked 'have you dreamt abt forever?' i rest my case.

April Fool!

2010-04-01T12:51:00.002+08:00

toothless and hiccup :D

i've watched the movie. one word, awesome! the dragons are so cute :D watched with bby at westmall. hahah. its been a long time since i've updated. i'm officially an SP student. made my student card, applied for ez-link, and today, i'm heading down to SP to get my laptop. ohh, so cool. after that, going for practical lessons. i'm finishing all the major topics for driving. i'm left with driving simulator, auto car practical, my final theory test and lastly, Traffic Police Test :D i can't wait to get my licence. so, tmr, i'm heading down to my grandmama cemetry with my family and aunt. my mum insist of having my sister to brush thru the driving techniques with me :D like finally! i can drive the van -.- haha. big big van :) i so can't wait.

i'm thinking of quitting work soon. considering the time and money used to travel. i spent almost 50 bucks a month, just for ez-link card. shitty isnt it? maybe i'm switching to a nearer place for work. much much nearer to my house. just a few mins ride in the mrt :D wow. alright, i gtg. byee.

t h e . d a y

2010-03-16T11:45:00.003+08:00

its 16th march. so, bby,

HAPPY 4TH ANNIVERSARY!! ♥♥♥♥♥

i got him.

2010-03-09T00:04:00.003+08:00

you're that guy ^^

the best way out.

2010-03-07T21:08:00.003+08:00

i'm sorry that things had to end this way. i just think that this is the best way for us. i can't stand your empty promises anymore. u took every chance that i've given you again and again for granted. it hurts me knowing that things wont be alright again. i'm trying very hard not to shed a single tear anymore because i've shed a lot all this while. i'm trying my best to look okay and not put the shrunken face. only God knows how hard i'm trying to be strong when i make that decision for the both of us. i know it wont be an easy task for me. but i have to take the risk. i cannot pretend to be as strong as i can be. my patience has reached its limits. you tested me each and every single day with all types of shits. God knows how i endured it. God knows how much i had to take it every single day.

that msg you send me at 2119 hrs, is just words. i know deep down u still feel the pain like i do. deep down u still care abt the things that i do. ironic isn't it that u don't know why it didn't hurt so much anymore when it actually hurt much worst. and as much as u want to deny it, it wont make you strong to face the outcome. i won't deny that there's no more us. i have to accept the fact and i will learn to be strong. i will move on with my life. and i know, that someplace, somewhere, there are other souls out there that will love me better than you do. that will appreciate me better than you do. and that will be the best part of my life, i assure you. i'm sick and tired of your big-time ego that you just refused to let it down just to save this relationship. it doesn't matter anymore because there's nth left. i hope i won't regret making this decision. like i said a few times before, i know that i'm not the girl that can change you. i realised a long time ago. i know where i stand. somewhere, out there, there will be someone who can change you. there will be and i know that someone is not me. definitely not because i tried a lot of times but all my effort, went down to waste.

i know we'll still meet at school even though u intend to resign on 16/3. but i hope we'll be classmates and push other things aside so as not to disrupt our studies. i hope for the best for your future endeavours and may you be blessed with happiness for the rest of your life.

-----------

because life sucks these day, i can't update too much. sis is joining me in poly. she had to. i'm sorry abt her results but sis, we'll pull this through together. she's taking engineering course. mechanical at sp. which means, my sis will be in the same campus and school as me. she'll be my guidance to move on from there. i hope she'll go there and be my guide.

no matter how hard this will be, i'm going to be strong to pull through every single challenges and obstacles in my life. Amin :')

how to make a r/s work?

2010-03-03T23:32:00.007+08:00

Decide to love. Infatuation is typically what sparks loving relationships, but the excitement fades and warm feelings diminish unless both partners make conscious efforts to uphold their companionship. Once love is established in a relationship, actively expressing love to each other will maintain and increase the loving feelings in both partners. Conversely, refraining from expressions of love allows one’s devotion to dissipate. If you are aiming for a long-lasting, successful marriage, you need to commit to your partner’s emotional well-being, even when it isn’t easy.

Communicate about anything and everything. Have deep and meaningful conversations once in a while. Discuss what’s going on in your lives right now, whether social life, school life, or family life, and learn about each other’s pasts and childhoods. Celebrate accomplishments, encourage goals and ambitions, and explore each other’s values and beliefs. Share your deepest thoughts, needs, wishes, hopes, and dreams. Know each other inside and out.

Establish trust on all levels. Mutual trust is founded in respect and loyalty toward each other. Strive to understand and respect your differences. Share and clarify your differing perspectives, and try to empathize with each other’s point of view. In some cases, it is better to simply agree to have differences of opinion or your own ways of doing things. Pressuring your partner to do something that they really don’t want to do, or neglecting or abusing them (whether emotionally, verbally, physically, or sexually) undermines your ability to trust and rely on one another. You should be able to trust each other in everything, keeping private your partner’s innermost secrets, fears, and struggles.

Support each other. Be there through the good, happy, sad, and bad times—no matter what. Be willing to provide hugs, kisses, and emotional comfort in all circumstances. If your partner resists your attempts to comfort them and declines to talk about it, you should ease off of the subject and wait until they seem to be in a better mood before returning to it. Feel like you can count on each other; be reliable and loyal, and be emotionally available when you need each other most.

Be completely honest with each other. A truly emotionally intimate relationship requires open and honest communication. Keeping secrets from your partner creates a barrier between you that limits your mutual emotional trust. Honesty can be scary, but if you want your relationship to thrive, then you both need to become comfortable discussing your feelings, insecurities, and frustrations.

Spend time together. Carve out date times for togetherness as a couple. Spend time talking with each other and going out on dates, and doing other relationship-building activities. Really get to know each other and build a connection between you that’s strong and enduring. Make an effort to see each other (in-person) and talk on the phone maybe once a day or every few days.

Spend time apart. Be independent and keep your sense of self, never losing yourself or your voice in the relationship. Don’t suffocate each other. You should each continue to grow as individuals—not just as a couple. You should have your own space, too—physically and emotionally. Do your own things separately once in a while. Spend time with friends and family, and by yourself pursuing hobbies and other things. Just ensure that no other relationship or pursuit crowds out your partner from being your first priority.

Settle disputes peacefully. Apologize, forgive, and make up with each other. If you threaten to break up with each other after every fight or argument, you will never really resolve anything. Take breaking up off the table. Talk through disagreements as long or as many times as it takes until the issue is resolved and both of you feel comfortable moving forward.

Keep most things private between you two. When your partner shares with you and confides in you (emotionally and physically), resist the urge to disclose sensitive details to anyone without permission. You should treat it as something special, personal and private between you two, out of respect for your partner. A relationship is between two people—you and your girlfriend or boyfriend (or spouse), not anyone else. Don’t involve others in intimate matters, however close you may feel to them.

Make continual efforts to maintain your relationship. Work on it. Work hard at keeping it positive, upbeat, healthy, and the very best it can be. Work on it every single day. Whatever you can do to improve your relationship or make it healthier, do it! Try thinking about, and then doing, at least one thing each day that will make life a little easier, brighter, or better for your other half. By challenging yourself to do at least one nice thing for your partner every single day, you stay focused on keeping your love front and center.

Be romantic. Romance is essential to have at least some of the time. Candles, candlelight, compliments, stargazing, watching the sunset or sunrise, fireworks, romantic bubblebaths, showers, and romantic dinners are good ideas. Make some things you do and some places you decide to go to on dates romantic.

Remember that every person, couple, and relationship is different. Don’t compare your relationship to anyone else’s—not your parents or other family members, friends, coworkers, that couple whose relationship seems perfect, etc. Every couple makes their own love rules, love agreements, love habits, love routines, and so on. Just focus on you two and making your relationship the best that it can be.

Show affection. Hold hands, kiss, hug, cuddle, snuggle, or wrap arms around shoulders or waists. Become close and really comfortable with each other physically and emotionally. Share every part of yourself (your heart, mind, and soul), not just your body.

Remember that intensity of emotion can ebb and flow over the years. There may be times when you are less aware of your loving feelings, more into your own interests, perhaps things have even become a little routine. Those are the times to remember all the wonderful things you have done together, and still want to do. You choose to feel committed and close, so when you feel yourself drifting or taking your love for granted, plan a romantic date night, do something special for your love, and just remind yourself of all the wonderful qualities he or she possesses that made you fall in love in the first place.

See family as one, not two. Include each other in decisions. One’s worry is the other’s, because both will be affected by it.

------------

i found this thru nadiah's tumblr and i find this is helpful. all that is said here is really helpful for all couples :D so, i spent my day today with baby. first, we met up at bb to make an atm card (initially) for me. but, after consulting the ppl there, both, i mean, BOTH of us, decided to take the POSB GO debit card. baby changed his atm card while i sign up for it. can use it as nets or even credit card. must control spendings alr :/ after that, we headed to baby's crib to take his stuffs before proceeding to takashimaya to shop for his mum's birthday present. he bought her a bvlgari perfume for 140 bucks and get himself a bvlgari perfume for free! humph. its the promotion for today. not bad uh? haha. after that, we went to ion to eat at swensens. love today :D shit. tmr work. sigh. lazy to go work ley. ystd, was crazy. abt an hour before i end my work, there was a huge crowd. and i happened to be doing the board (doing burgers) and i was like, wth. can't the orders stopped coming in? i had the urge to just switch off the screen and stopped doing all the burgers. but, it was really challenging. although it was tiring, but it was a good first-big-crowd experience for me. lucky i wasn't doing counter. i will get a bad headache trying to settle orders. drinks, burgers and sides? i prefer doing one. burgers. hahaha. i want to get a book! i want to go borders tmr. baby, accompany me hor? hehehe. alright. i gtg. literally, tired. goodnight.

l o v e

2010-02-19T11:55:00.002+08:00

l o v e is everywhere, even in a cup of coffee.

so, i'm back after mia-ing for a few weeks. this past few weeks had been really hectic. work, practical lessons, spending time with baby. phew. this week, i've been attached to bk ion. boringg. and its really tiring. i'm lucky to work at bk orchard central :D

baby bought me a fossil wallet for v day cum 3 years and 11 monthsery! :DD thanks bby. ilysm! and there's still some things that are yet to buy. baby sponsor :P hehehe. yesterday, i spend my morning at baby's crib. watching tv and eating breakfast at his house. woo. house big! :P and pls. clean ur room lerrr! :S hahaha. i'll be going to baby's crib again later in the afternoon. ditching work again :P hehehe. and going for practical later on :D movie marathon also! i'm going to ask him tp buy some chips :DD heheehe. there's so much things to update but idk where to start. during the cny holidays, i had to work while the rest of my family went chalet and enjoy themselves :( but nvm, i got my public holiday pay :D going to go shopping and finally, buy bby's belated v day present :P alright, i gtg now. hahah. byeee.

because i know,

2010-02-06T20:53:00.002+08:00

no one else.

driving was fun! drove the honda jazz! but seriously, leg pain. i reached bbdc on time. print the slip and went to the car assigned. i knw baby is jealous that i got honda jazz :P hahaha. and bby, those are manual. u know, modification :D hehe. so, the instructor explain the exterior and interior part of the car. after that drive. front and back. playing ard with gear one and reverse gear. there's a lot of times i release the clutch so fast that the whole engine turn off. haha. i learn how to switch to the second gear. but damn, leg hurts a lot. and my brake cannot make it. a lot of times, when brake, the instructor jerk forward. oopps. hahah. then i drove ard the circuit. learning how to turn right at the bends. sharp and gradual. woo. i can't wait for the next practical. alright. i gtg. byee.

if this isn't love,

2010-02-04T11:18:00.002+08:00

what if.

passed my btt! yay! applied my provisional driving license. will be going for my first practical lesson this saturday. the practical booking session sucks. a lot of ppl booked the slots already. since saturday i'm not working, i'll go for the practical. can't wait. today working. sucks. not sure what time i start. i need to get some sleep before going to work. migrane is a pain in the ass. sorry for the short short updates. just leading a normal boring life every single day. ohh.i need to work OT now since i only worked for one day last week. yeahs. i ditched work on thursdy to spend time with bby before gg to kl the next day. i need to recover all the lost hours. need money to buy a new school bag, valentines' day gift for bby, laptop, hp bills and a lot of other stuffs. damn, here comes nightmare. alright. i need some rest now. goodbyee.

hoped.

2010-01-30T20:12:00.006+08:00

well, i hope you understand.

will be back tmr. reaching singapore at night. i miss baby, so much! wearing his jacket now. he's working. ending @ 11pm. miss him alot!! :'( but, idk what went wrong just now. sigh. so, i didnt buy anything today. just went to shop for bra(s). yeahs. had migrane cuz of the scorching heat. damn, KL is freaking hot. tmr going back home. boarding the bus by 4.30. maybe tmr doing some last minute shopping at Suria KLCC. alright. i gtg. i could use some sleep now. byee.

[edit] i found this on tumblr and i found it amusing.[/edits]

Psst, I got something to tell you
1) I need to tell you a secret look at 5
2) The answer is look at 11
3) Don’t get mad look at 15
4) Calm down dont be mad look at 13
5) First look at 2
6) Dont be that angry look at 12
7) I just wanted to say I love you.
8) What I wanted to tell you is.. THE ANSWER IS ON 14
9) Be patient look at 4
10) This is the last time I’m going to do this look at 7
11) I hope you’re not mad when I say this look at 6
12) Sorry look at 8
13) Dont get mad look at 10
14) I dont know how to say this but look at 3
15) You must be really mad look at number 9

kl trip.

2010-01-29T23:50:00.002+08:00

if you know how much i miss you...

i'm currently at KL now. brought my laptop along so that i can use it. another alternative tool to use to contact baby. i miss him :'( reached KL ard 1 pluss. after that headed off to suria klcc mall. bot movie tickets since they want to watch. window shopped. i bought an everlast shoe. preparation for poly. hahaha. soon, we went back to the hotel and went out to our distant cousin house. supposedly, we had to watch a movie at 2355 but sis is not feeling well and the rest are too tired to go. so, burn! hahaha. idk where they plan to go tmr. hmms. it'll be a very long long day. hahaha. alright. i gtg now. very tireddd. byee.

pretend,

2010-01-27T13:47:00.004+08:00

i will pretend.

so i got into common engineering programme @ sp. so expected. i'll just continue on with it. feels so lazy to appeal here and there. surely there'll be one of the engineering courses that will win my heart in the future when i go through all the engineering courses. sis said, its better to just continue. so, okay. i hope poly life will be great. going for holiday this friday. and wow. i'm only working for 2 days this week. ystd and tmr. i wonder how am i going to wake up early in the morning after ending work at 11pm on thursday night? woo. i havent pack any single thing for the trip. probably doing it last minute. ohh well. gtg now. byee.

the best,

2010-01-24T21:11:00.003+08:00

the best couple on earth.

so, my new computer crashed again. like, gdkjfhsfryewfrhedbsk! currently, using my brother's laptop. also got problem but i'm very lucky that it agreed to work for me today. today was cousin's wedding. a lot of nasty stuffs happened. stupid. appreciate whatever that we've done for your brother laaa. never even say thank you for all our help. talk bad, stare, never respect. stupid. no comments laa. luckily everything is done. so that i dont have to see you and your fat ass ANYMOREEE! stupid.

i'm just so tired right now. tmr not working. three days not working already. next week just working on tuesday and thursday. fri to sun going KL! woohooo! can't wait yaw. hahah. jae posting results this wednesday. wow. scared shit. haha. can't believe that i'm entering poly life soon. alright. head aching. gtg. byee.

its the 16th!

2010-01-16T12:10:00.002+08:00

awesome 15th ^^

happy monthsery to us! hehehe. i had an awesome time ystd! seriously. but first, i already submitted my JAE form ystd. like duh! because ystd was the dateline. and i chose aeronautical engineering as my first. i hope i made the right choice :D wont elaborate to the 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc etc. hehe. so, after that, i get ready to go for work. baby met up with me at somerset. but before that, i met ayisha at somerset mrt (baby was late, as usual). she got send home by ____ because she didnt wore her belt to work. she got solded at. pissed off, she went home. the other staffs there got scolded too for idk what reason. i heard that it was very chaotic. so i told baby. and you knw what? he asked me to ditch work -.- hahahaha! so yes, i ditch work :P shh. and we went to buy some personal things first :DD after that, we headed down to city hall and had our early dinner at popeyes :DD hhehee.

after that, we went to esplanade and hang out there. HAHAHAHA! smth so wild happened and we laughed our ass out. ppl ard there was just staring at us :P shhh! our secret. ystd was so fun and awesome. i love us. thank you for last night baby! ily :D happy mthsery once again! hehehehe. alaa. i'm working today. can't ditch. grrr. ok laa. gtg. want to eat. hungrehhh. hahahaha. byeee.

Alhamdulillah!

2010-01-13T13:03:00.003+08:00

through everything,

results are out! and guess what? i did better than what i expected! omg. Alhamdulillah! i'm proud of what i achieved. even thought i stayed back for another year, retaking N level, i did not regret any single moment of it. i finally succeed! i did it! i got a total C.O.P of 16 points. minus one cca point. so that made up 15 points. i was expecting to get like 18 or smth. grades are as follows.

english- B3 (unexpected for a lot of us. but we did mr yoong proud!)
math- C5
science- B3
malay- A1 (so so so unexpected. i literally laughed when i saw that grade. all thanks to cikgu zelda!)
d&t- B4 (disappointed but i did my best)
combined humans- D7 (hahahahahahaha! expected)

i would like to dedicate this post to a few ppl that i have in mind. for those who i forgot to mention, forgive but thank you to all of you :)

my family: you're the light in my life. although i went thru a lot in this journey, quarrelings here and there and it affect me a lot, you guys were there to bring me through the tough journey. supporting and motivating me. giving me all the help you guys can. i appreciate every single small things that you did for me. and thanks for coming to my work place to excite me more after the results. thank you to all. i love you guys :)

teachers: i know i made a lot of nuisance in class sometimes, sleeping and making a lot of noise. not doing work but talking to classmates. however, i thank you guys for bringing me up for those 6 years in swiss. i appreciate all the help, the motivation and support esp when i fall down during the N level period. thanks to all of you. you guys made a lot of effort helping us and driving us crazy thru those times. pushing and chasing us for works. i will miss he moments. in fact, i'm already missing it. thank you to all of you. you've made me realise that 'failure does not mean that its the end of the world but the first step to success'. thank you. :)

azean: heyy babe! haha. i knw you will read this post like after weeks i update it but i would like to thank you for the encouragement and support that you've given me. thank you for the listening ears abt my problems throughout the whole journey. you've been there when i needed someone to talk to. when others left me for idk what reason. thank you for everything cousin. you've helped me gain this success. i know i've thanked you the other day but i still need to thank you more. you did more than what i expected. thank you once again :) i love you cousin. aniq also :) hehe.

baby: YAY YAY YAY! YAYNESS! we did it baby! we succeed! thank you for all the encouragement that you've given me all this while. although we quarreled a lot over misunderstandings and some things not to be mentioned here, we pulled it through and gain success. you were there when i needed guidance and motivtion for my studies. math especially. i know i drive you crazy sometimes, or maybe all the time but i would like to thank you for every little things you've done for me throughout the whole journey. you've helped me alot thru those times. starting from the beginning of 2009 till the end of 2009. you've been there all the time when i need you. those quarrels was worth it altho we almost give up on everything almost, us. but we managed to pull everything thru and stay together. thank you for everything that you did for me. encouraging, supporting, driving me crazy, pushing me to the limits (maybe over the limits till i cried because i've been forced to study by you :P) haha. all those are worthwhile. thank you for everything baby. i really do mean it :) and we even get the same C.O.P! i'm really proud of us. i love you. thanks for being a part of my life for alnost 4 years plus. thank you :'D

wow. getting emotional while typing the dedication to baby. i would like to thank everyone who had given me great support and encouragement throught that journey. thank you for everything. if i forgot to mention your name, forgive me but i thank you for everything :) i really do. alright. long post. i need to get going. byeee.

so, goodbye.

2010-01-10T13:29:00.002+08:00

so, goodbye.

♥

2010-01-07T11:04:00.003+08:00

my new baby :DD

alright. just forget abt that previous post alright. so, i changed my phone, like finally. after 2 years using K800i (yeahs, old phone), i changed to this phone. exactly this colour. topaz brown. yeah it looks like gold right but whatever. i'm in love with the colour. still trying to manage how to use this phone -.- but with a lil help from baby and sis (both using e71), i did manage to understand a few short cuts for this phone and some applications and games etc. its a bit wider than e 71. but i don't like the space bar. too small. not like e71, very big. humph. i love my phone no matter what. haha. and it suffered its first drop. in the toilet! -.- but luckily it has its cover on it. however, i don't like the camera. tho its 5 megapixle, i still prefer my old 3.2 megapixle camera phone. clearer and better focus. hehe. i got this phone on new years eve. good right? new years eve present cuz mum paid it for me, first. i paid half of the amt to her. still stuck with another half. heh.

shitto. later working. starting at 4, ending at 11pm. idk why they put me in the afternoon shift. tiring but i like. hehe. woo. O levels results is very very soon. i'm seriously scared shit. idk why. but i got the confidence that i can get good grades. not for malay. screwed the second take totally. d&t, err, i'll be happy if i just scrap a 3. math, i'm really praying i got a 2 or 3. i put in a lot of effort practicing last min. pls, i need that grade. science, 3 will be alright. argh! okay dont want to talk abt the rest scared already. gtg now. byeee :D

2010.

2010-01-06T15:26:00.003+08:00

2009 ended. it ended with a smile but 2010 started with a tear. 2010 is definitely not on my side. since the beginning of it, tears had been filling my life. not laughter, not smile, not joy. idk why things are this way for me. everything sucks. i've been crying almost every day. idk why i'm not tired of it. O level results out this monday. good luck to everyone. plus you.

but i know i have to.

i'm hoping i'll be.

2009-12-21T19:56:00.007+08:00

i'm hoping i'll be.

there's certainly no words left in me anymore.

i was a fool to know you could be there. fool to everything i thought you could be.

and idk why there's still part of me that longed for you, still.

but it don't matter anymore.

“You may not be her first, her last or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze, and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there. ”
— Bob Marley

what exactly do you want me to do?

2009-12-20T20:29:00.005+08:00

i'm confused. i don't know wth you want me to do uh. even if you got a different timing for work, why the heck do you put the blame on me just because i have a partner to go with? wth. i really don't know what you want me to do. you want things to be put low, fine, i agreed tho i disagree. and i dont have to frigging repeat myself for this shit. what the heck will all those ppl think when they saw me and you together? you want it to be low and yet you're not doing it. what do you want ni? seriously, W-H-A-T?! you want me to accompany you tmr? follow you? then wth can i do for the rest of the one hour plus? go fly balloons or smth? think laa. use your brain and think. i don't expect you to wait for me too even if you end earlier than me tmr cuz if they know you waited for me, their mind will make thousands of reasons and questions why you are still there -.- and then, you'll answer it eh. not me. i don't mind it but don't put all these blame on me. you think abt what i said uh tho you're too egoistic enuf to think that you're right. but i'm just trying to keep everything low. what is the wrong of going to work alone? true, physically alone but not emotionally. you think abt it laa. idk why i'm so frustrated abt this small work problem. and just because of all this, want to quit? seriously, no comments. i'm already frigging scared abt what will happen tomorrow. i lost my frigging cap and badge. idk where the hell i put it. you don't how insane i was just now. ohh yeah. forgot that you were too busy. but whatever laa. since when have you ever cared, huh? rather than i think of this, i better off think abt millions of reasons why i lost my cap and badge so that i can save my own ass tmr when i get a scolding from the manager. and if you want to know of a way to the bus stop, click the link below. click the nearest bus stop button beside dhoby ghaut mrt station (red line, fyi) and select no. 16. the bus stop to stop is no. 23. and see the map for yourself. good night.

p/s: its my blog. i can write anything i want.
link link link

a long list.

2009-12-16T21:30:00.002+08:00

if you don't give a shit abt my feelings, why should i give a shit abt yours?
if you don't care abt what i want, why should i care abt what you want?
if you ignore my worries, i should probably ignore yours too.
if you prefer other girls, why do you still waste your time with me?
if you are so lazy to talk to me, why bother wasting your effort to talk?
if you said you prefer to be single, why bond up with me?
if you regret that we ever met, why keep coming back?
if all your feelings started to fade, why still hold on?
if in the brink of break up, why stop to think?
if you know we aren't meant to be together, why stick around?
if you love me, why keep doing the things that dissapoint me?
if you love me, why can't you keep me happy?
if you love me, why dissapoint me in this very day?
if you love me, why do you say ALL those things?
if you love me, why can't you understand the way i feel?
if you love me, why do the things that i dont want you to do?
if you love me, why can't you sacrifice for me?
if you love me, why can't you think abt my feelings before doing anything that will hurt me?
if you love me, why give excuses just to cover up a lie?
and if you love me, why don't i feel it?

tumblr.

the truth,

2009-12-15T20:10:00.003+08:00

The couple that fights the most is the one most in love. It shows they care
enough to notice the other one screwed up and care enough to mention it to the
person so they can fix it. When you stop fighting, it means you stopped
caring.

ironic, yet true. this explains a lot. so, a few days ago has been really, how should say? kind of really bad for me. a couple of bad things happened in my life. i fall sick, quarrel with like almost every single impt person in my life. ystd was a lot worst. but whatever. ystd i went for training. don't really get all the information into my head. but, i'm dead tmr. tmr will start my cashier training at ion orchard. ohh dear. i'm not sure how i could manage it. i'll try my best. i'm starting work at 1.30 till 5 tmr. wow. but i get paid :DDD haha. so i alter my pants just now cuz its very very long. i had to buy a new shoe cuz the one i bought is not FULLY black -.- BK very strict. so i just bought a normal school shoe with a pair of black socks. can only afford to buy a pair for now. haha. when i get my pay, will pay back my mum for the money i used and maybe treat my parents :D hehe. so, orchard central bk outlet will be officially open on 29 december 2009. haha. 2 days to 2010. so, a few weeks of training and i'll go on 'live' there. alright. i gtg now. byeee.

humorous.

2009-12-12T21:27:00.008+08:00

hahah. funny right? and we don't even realise it -.- so, i went for my injection today. the second to register but the first one to call up for injection. i swear i looked at the number a few times before realising that it was my number -.- i even say 'biar betol?' haha. after i had my injection, waited for my team before heading to hitachi tower bk. collect uniforms and then ate breakfast there. got a treat from manager :P so, i got close with my team mates. not like ystd -.- haha. only some were present just now. so, i got to know, maryam, ayisha, and some others. there's only like abt 3 ppl who are 18. the rest are 16 and 17. maryam is 18. but just like me, we're both short to be 18 :D i even had to show my IC to one of my team mates cuz he don't believe that i'm 18 -.- then this ayisha, 16 years old. haha. her name is pronounce the same as mine but emphasise more on YI. hahah. its funny to call her by her name. like calling myself -.- even when the managers called her, i turned too :P haha. so, to avoid it from happening, i asked them to call me Siti. weird, but better use that since that siti is not used for anythng but just to increase the no. of alphabets to my name :P haha.

AH FUCK!

wish granted.

2009-12-11T22:25:00.001+08:00

Funny blogger. So, laptop is down and since my sis is playing sims outside, i have to update using my iPod. Pretty irritating but i'll put it thru. Ystd i FINALLY manage to have e wireless network at home. Yeah, pretty outdated right? Haha. So, this whole week has been very hectic. I finally get a job at bk. The pay us acceptable not tt i'm expecting much more. The crew is very nice :) i'll be working at orchard central bk outlet tt is gg to open this late december :D cool isn't it? Hahaha. So, had the orientation this morning. Very long but interesting. Tmr i hve to take an injection near raffles place. Meeting e crew at 8.15. Damn it! Been waking up early for a lot of days alr. Be it work or theory practice. Speaking abt theory practice, i've been failing :( but i'm gg to practice more before my theory test. I really hope i can squeeze in some time for theory practice after i start work :( alright . Getting really irritated updating using iPod. I gtg. I need to sleep now. Night ppl :)

moodless?

2009-12-05T22:06:00.002+08:00

http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/pdf/midnightsun_partial_draft4.pdf
i found this link from stephenie meyer page. in case you don't know who she is, she's the author of the twilight saga. that link up there is the draft of the new book, midnight sun. after reading it, i can't wait for the book to be published. it was supposed to be out this june, but due to some inconsiderate online/internet users, it couldnt be publish, yet. some ppl actually posted this story onto the internet when it was not done. it disappoint the author. they sort of hacked her account or smth. so she put up this link on her webpage. but she's still working on it, her next project. it'll be out, but the timing will not be definite. so, this book is actually twilight in Edward's point of view. cool and intriguing. read it and you'll seek for more.

so, i went for an interview, somwhere. one word, absurd. how the hell can you said i'm too young for the job? damn it. but, whatever, you know. its not the only job available in this world. but, i kinda of figure out its impossible to get a proper job for now. i'll just keep trying. i've been very grumpy this week, in fact, for the past few weeks. probably because i didn't get any jobs that i applied for. and i'm getting very edgy abt smth. i'm a girl, like anybody wouldn't notice -.- but i'm particular not impressed when i couldn't get what i want from ppl, esp baby :( i'm sorry to say this but sometimes i couldn't express my thoughts directly to you cuz, you-know-what-will-happen-next will indeed happened. i know, it seems crazy to be this way. i don't even know what's happening to me. ohh hey, i'm only saying this to baby. so scroll all the way to the next paragraph if you ain't impress with what i'm abt to say next. i yearn for your company a lot these days but i just don't know why i can't have it. every single night, its either you'll be busy and will be replying my msg late, enough to change my mood or it'll just be me asking to be alone because i'm piss over certain things. sometimes, purposely pouring oil onto the fire. i know, i'm cruel. cruel to do this to the both of us. but i guess, i need more attention from you. thats all i can say, here. ily.

so, you. i don't see any more reasons to help you with your future anymore. you don't seem to deserve any help from me. hey, its your life. you decide what's best for yourself aye. because even if i were to help, would you even change? no, i know you too well. 15 years living with you is more than enough to know your attitude. hey brother, change before its too late. i'm not threatening but your future is at stake. don't take life for granted. and don't take things likely. sometimes, things wouldn't go like the way we plan. life is like a gamble game. you'll never know when you'll strike and when you'll fall. take this to your head, brother.

alright. so, i spent days after days watching tv, eating! damn, i'm not even attmepting to exercise. i really want to play badminton. once, i even dreamt abt playing badminton. you know like, swinging your arms in the middle of the night. eerie isn't it? haha. just tossing. i'm just waiting for the day to play badminton with baby :) ohh! just remembered smth. he'll be having his marathon tmr. 10 clicks. he'll be running in the morning while i'll still be on the bed, sleeping like a pig. hey no, i don't drool. haha. good luck baby! :D maybe you can drink your 'energy drink' tonight to boost you up? haha. just suggesting but hey, you know your duties uh. hahaha. you know i know. alright. i'm outta here. good night :D

i can't promise,

2009-12-03T22:32:00.003+08:00

I can’t promise you the perfect words.I can’t tell you that I won’t make
mistakes, because I will.My actions may not always be right or seem to make
sense.And the odds of you winning a single argument are slim to none because I’m
stubborn.But, I can guarantee you arms that are forever open, sincerity
unlimited, and eternal, extravagant, devoted love. And that is the most I can
ever offer.

this is all i could say now.
so, i went to watch new moon with azean today. it's far better than twilight but, i laughed abt the ending. obviously it is to create suspence to those who have not read the thrid book, ecilpse. but since i've read it, i laughed. wanna know why? watch it :D you'll be satisfied with the movie. however, i did CRIED when Edward broke up with Bella. i mean, damn, those words. it just pierce through my heart. not literally of course. but it does hurt. alright. enough. watch it. you won't regret watching it. ONLY to those who have GREAT interest on it but not those who find the movie rather.... stupid. ohh well. different ppl different points of view aye.

alrighty. i changed my blogskin. also, changed my computer! hell yeah. old computer crashed and i got a new one. ACER desktop with a 19 inch (i think?) monitor screen. wide. but i think its the same as the old one? windows vista! haha. but its not fully done yet. spent 2 frigging hours abt the wireless thingy. still not set up yet. sigh. uncle matt will come in abt 2 days time to fix it again. ok, i wanna watch the funny chinese ghost story. same like the one i update ONE week ago. only this is the THIRD part. haha. goodnight everyone! :D

you don't have the faintest idea how it will be for me.
but i guess it don't matter to you cuz its...stupid.

drunk me with your caress.

2009-11-26T22:40:00.004+08:00

nothing please me more than facing his sweet and adorable face :)

cute right? hehe. miss this baby a lot. nvm. will be meeting him next week. finding jobs with azean next week. after that, heading to aniq (picture) school and fetch him. hehe. can't wait. ntuc interview suck. wonder how he can get while i couldn't. nvm. don't want to rely on these jobs anymore uh. sick and tired of finding jobs already. so, tmr is hari raya aidiladha. wishing all muslims out there Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha :) wonder why i don't even feel the hari-raya mood here -.- alright. gtg. want to watch this one funny chinese ghost story. watched the first part last week. today is the second part. alright. gtg. byeee.

tumblr post.

2009-11-25T11:23:00.003+08:00

10 things you want for christmas:
to be sane, again.

a new handphone.

a brand new computer.

to have a job

enjoy while i still can before getting results.

new clothes in my closet.

makeover room (soon ;])

exercise, play badminton maybe? i'm getting fat!

movie marathon.

upgrade my iPod Touch memory? :P

9 musicians/bands you love:
(in random order)

Jonas Brothers.

David Archuleta.

Lady Gaga.

Kristina Debarge.

Backstreet Boys.

Jason Mraz.

Rihanna.

Linkin Park.

Pussycat Dolls.

8 things you do everyday:

bathe.

shit.

pee.

eat.

watch tv.

play computer.

watch random dvds.

messaging.

7 things you enjoy:

meeting with baby.

talk otp with baby.

go out with family.

playing badminton :D

play computer.

hang out with friends.

eating :D

6 things that will always win your heart:

my family

baby :D

friends.

messaging with baby.

blogging.

tumblr-ing.

5 favourites:

movie: at the moment, transformers 2.

song: future love- kristina debarge

book: twilight saga

band: jonas brothers

season: errr, rainy season?

4 smells you enjoy:

flowers.

caramel :DDDD

brownie :DDDD

hair

3 places you want to go:
france

italy

new zealand

2 holidays you love:

hari raya

school holidays :D

1 person you’d marry on the spot:
errrrrrr. do i have to say out who?

going out with baby soon to find a job. heading home after that cuz got ngaji. damn. hopefully can get this job. i'm tired of having to hunt for jobs day by day. bro follwing me later, with his friend. alright, i gtg. byeee.

"sometimes, there's some things we can't change"
- Bumblebee (Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen)

rebloged from tumblr post.

2009-11-23T22:00:00.002+08:00

Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle. For each question,
press the next button to get your answer.

IF SOMEONE SAYS ‘ARE YOU OKAY’
YOU SAY?
Crazy- Pitbull ft Lil Jon (damn, true.)

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Sugar- Florida
(haha. of course! sweet as sugar!)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Ride With Me- Nelly (erm, i don't get it -.-)

HOW
DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Breaking The Habit- Linkin Park (err,
kinda)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Thinking Of You- Katy
Perry (i guess i got other purposes too)

WHAT’S YOUR MOTTO?
I Don't Wanna Know- Mario Winans (hahahaha! true.)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Don't Matter-
Akon (yeahs. i guess it don't matter to me.)

WHAT DO YOUR
PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Perfect World- Simple Plan (awww!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Crush- David
Archuleta (erm, getting crushed is what i think)

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Jai Ho- Pussycat Dolls (-.-)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF
YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Beautiful- Akon (lucky to whoever is my
bestfriend)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Womanizer- Britney
Spears (damn girl!)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Heartless- Kris Allen

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU
SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Happy Birthday- Click 5

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Circus- Britney
Spears (wow! thats nice)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Insomnia- Craig David (lol! already RIP!)

WHAT IS
YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Go On Girl- Neyo

WHAT IS YOUR
HOBBY/INTEREST?
Hotel Room Service- Pitbull (sexxyyyy!)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
New Divide- Linkin
Park (uh uh. this ain't my biggest secret)

WHAT DO YOU WANT
RIGHT NOW?
Your Call- Secondhand Serenade (yeahs. kinda
need it, a lot!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Jump
Then Fall- Taylor Swift (awww. cool to have daring friends like that)

TUMBLR IS?
Lovebug- Jonas Brothers (aww! sweeeeet!)

its getting really irritating using laptop to update blogger. maybe i'm just not used to it yet. baby ask me out tmr. not too sure abt it since i'm B-R-O-K-E! damn it. i need a freaking job badly laa. hari raya haji is around the corner. not too sure if meeting with families because most of them are heading off to johor as one of my uncle made a booking for korban. maybe not going there cuz dad will be back latest in the afternoon. by the time he's back, everything is done. hmms. i'm pretty much addicted to tumblr. so much right now. haha. random. i did smth this morning. apologise to someone. i have to do it. but its up to her to make her own decision. i'm not expecting any reply from her. its her choice if she refuse to reply it back. i can't force. but, i do miss her :( miss her company, advices and much more. its been a year plus since i last met up with her, at vivo. but, what's done is done. i can't turn back the time. i'll just live with it. alright. i need to catch some sleep now. byeee.

"i don't understand you anymore."
baby, i don't understand myself too. ily.

job hunting.

2009-11-21T12:02:00.003+08:00

i wanted to post a picture but blogger is being a beeotch. but, nvm. so, on 17 nov, i had Graduation Night at Concorde Hotel. it was awesome but kinda boring actually. but, hey, its the last time gathering together as a school. took a lot of pictures but its still at baby's camera yet to be uploaded. have to wait then. overall, did enjoy myself a lil. haha. went home with baby. reached home ard 12 plus.

so right now, i'm finding a job. damn, difficult to get job ley. anybody can recommend me a job? sigh. i need a job badly! if not cannot go zoo, cycling, bird park, movie and etc with baby. broke leyy! damn. been searching hard but can't find a job. went for interviews but never get. applied jobs online but no reply. sigh. alright. nth else to update alr. hahaha. byeee.

my heart is numb, has no feeling.

so why am i still healing?

just try... and have a little patience.

blog reopened.

2009-11-16T10:55:00.002+08:00

snow white jr.

alrighty. believe it or not, tmr is grad night! woohoo. i can't wait. so ystd i went out with baby to ion orchard. last minute shopping, for him. he bought 3 stuffs at topman which cost 167 bucks. yeah, rich kan this guy? haha. so, then we went around the building. suddenly, i caught sight of a nice nice dress. haha. not too casual, not too formal. fell in love with it instantly. so, i try it out. and i ended up buying it! :DD i can't wait to wear it tmr. hehe. so, i'm done with the dress. shoes and bag, will borrow from sis. next up accessories. just need to buy a few cuz i'm borrowing from sis too :D haha. budget you know. and guess what? i'm enrolling to BBDC soon! and its really soon, which means, later on. meeting baby at 11.30 :) can't wait man. haha. alright. i gtg now. byeeeee.

posted from tumblr.

2009-11-06T20:59:00.002+08:00

i waited like nobody business. hmms. i’m not really sure what’s going on.

so, i had lunch with baby just now. went to Alif and gombak to have our lunch. after that, headed to jurong point. went window shop for grad night stuffs. i fall in love with a few of the dresses there. i’m going to get it with Azean next week :D then we went to sit at mac cafe and had a drink after walking ard the building for abt 1 hour. believe me, we were exhausted. after we had a drink, we headed home.

something went wrong in between. all inside me. i don’t think i should let it out anymore. its been a dozen times i let it out yet things are not changed to the better. what can i do? nothing. so i’ll just live with it then. and now, i waited. my phone service got terminated. seriously, starhub is a freak.

alright, i’m done.

just TWO, and i'm done with books and papers.

2009-11-04T19:24:00.002+08:00

alright. i said, 11 nov, but hey, i'm bored. just last two papers. mother tongue and science paper 1 and i'm done with books and papers. no more touching them. seriously. & i feel like changing to tumblr cuz i think it friendlier that blogger. awesome pictures collected. even dina used it now :D haha. hmms. i've been updating tumblr lately. kinda lazy to post things to this blog. so, looking for updates? check my tumblr alrighty? hmms. okay. i'm done. byeee.

hiatus.

2009-10-09T10:51:00.004+08:00

& be gone with love.

as O levels are pretty near, i'll have to abandon this blog for a short while. i'll reopen it, exactly on 11 november after 3 pm. tagboard is removed cuz its dead. for short updates, view my plurkk. wish me luck. goodbyeee.

for the love of all,

2009-10-01T15:16:00.006+08:00

i'm afraid i wouldn't have the time to update abt the big day tmr. so, i'll just update today. HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY to NAUFAL HAKIM BIN AMAN. finally, legal to do almost everything, including ***. haha. but i know you won't although at times, you get horny :P ooppps. alright. seriously now. good luck for your O levels. wish u all the best in your future endeavors.

well, i did kinda waste time not going to school today. didn't study too much. and right now, stuck on the computer screen. my ass is just too heavy to be lifted. idk why. i don't have the mood or maybe motivation to study, for now. what kind of an idiotic life am i having, huh? life is definitely going to its lowest point. i'm not sure why life sucks these days. prolly because of the tensions of O levels that is just ard the corner. 21 more days to the big ride. surely, everyone is SO NOT looking forward to it. but ironically, we want it to be done and over with. hmms. alright. i want to watch tv. byeee.

cuz a lil help and a thank you will suffice :)

its the thought that counts.

2009-09-26T20:30:00.002+08:00

indeed, it is the worst birthday ever. idk whats wrong. idk what kind of an idiotic life i'm having. no comments. baby promised to celebrate today after O level or smth since he can't meet me today. sigh. he said he did bought me a lil something. seriously, its the thought that counts.

thanks to, baby, darling azean, nadiah, fyza, kalzom, amira, fiz and all those that wishes me at fb and those who are not mention here for the wishes. really appreciate all of it :) for one second, they make me look so old :( haha. aww, 18. legally to do almost everything :D can't wait for Os to end so that i could take my license. haha. tmr going out raya! can't wait. woohoo. can't wait to see aniq also. hehehe. alright. i'm done. byeee.

exhilarated.

2009-09-25T16:42:00.002+08:00

changed of blogskin, again. haha. used the old basecodes but different bg and picture. i did STILL put the credits there so i'm not copying ppl's orginality. hehe. so, i ditched school again. berry-berry don't rock. still having the urge to shit, but, maybe later. haha. i got to know from aunt this morning that the jalan raya will be on sunday and not saturday. which means, i can celebrate tmr with baby! i know the surprise alr :P haha. apparently, baby thinks he got some family plans tmr. aww man. but nvm. told him after Os also can celebrate. haha. can't wait for tmr! officially 18 while someone turns 18 in 5-6 days time. huahuahua. alright. i'm tossing. gtg. byeee.

because in this world,

2009-09-23T16:28:00.004+08:00

help is always required. however, it is often taken for granted. rest assured that is not abt you, but YOU. think for yourself. helped is often given yet you accused me of saying that i used your marks to gauge my academic results? lmao. you know, if i wanted to do that, i would have done it long time ago. perhaps, last year? your adsurdity is way too off board. i eased things, yet i got the same thing. ring any bells? go figure yeah. cuz i'm really out of words. i'm helping you sincerely WITHOUT WANTING ANY RETURN (& perhaps this include YOU too because i do think its not wrong to DEMAND a listening ear when you need one). things are just going the wrong way. i'm speechless. i'll rest my case. & i do think i need some time alone from all this shits. so don't flare up if i refuse to reply you. point those fingers clockwise from my direction :)

way too emotional i guess. but idk why i've been treated like a trash by some people. you know, it aint pleasing at all. some curmudgeons, better get you head right again. so, i ditched school today. been shitting alot. probably because of that clam chowder i ate with baby at ljs ystd. damn, there's too much garlic in there. grr. so, i spent the time at home, fiddling my hands with photoshop. manage to learn quite a few things. did edit some pictures. pretty lazy to post it up. maybe next time. damn. saturday going out to raya. sigh. planned to actually go out with baby. he said he got a surprise for me. wonder what is it? hmms. idk la eh. alright. i'm done updating.

ohh, btw, to YOU. i'm done accepting those crazy and humiliating words of yours. thanks for being a nice friend. wonder if i should really call you a friend or the opposite. cuz, like i said (& you agreed after i said it, being reckless to not think abt it first before doing it), a friend shouldnt humiliate a friend on her/his blog, PUBLICLY. at least i still got a sane mind to think before doing it and even put your name, in large fonts, here. and i ain't running away from you just because i changed my link. cuz if u realise, i directed you to this blog thru that old blog. so, obviously, i'm not trying to let you NOT know i changed my blog link. you are my friend, ONCE. you were my friend, NOW.

okay. i'm done. byeee.

switched wind

2009-09-20T13:12:00.003+08:00

because i feel that there's a need to be gone with the wind.

am i copying other ppl's originality? cuz if i did, sorry. i didn't see any copyright logo. selamat hari raya to all muslims. the worst raya ever celebrated. thanks to that someone. 6 more days to birthday yet i already got one from someone. i wonder what kind of present that is to make someone cry, sadly, for it. whatever. thanks for it.